How to break up with someone
You: Your ex is attractive.
Partner: Which one?
You: Me.
You: BYEEEE

helllohandsome:

wesquick:

Do you ever go from texting someone every day to realizing you’re always the one texting first, so you eventually stop texting first to see if they ever even realize you two haven’t talked and they don’t realize so you’re just stuck silently missing them knowing it’s not even worth it anymore because they obviously don’t care

this^

Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do.
Plato: Well then I guess I'm YOUR MOM
Plato: *high fives Socrates*

amporidan:

baconsteak:

sarkyfancypants:

DON’T YOU HATE IT WHEN YOU HEAR SOMEONE CALLING YOU BUT THERE’S NO ONE REALLY CALLING YOU AND THEN YOU SIT THERE CONFUSED BECAUSE YOU SWORE YOU COULD HEAR SOMEONE CALLING YOU

image

Wait, maybe it’s our loved ones trying to wake us from the coma. They just can’t scream loud enough

wow why the fuck would you say that